


The Story Freya Made Me Write

by Calicia (Merinnan)



Category: Hello Kitty - All Media Types, Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Challenge Response, Crack, F/M, Foursome - F/M/M/M, M/M, Squick, minor appearances by other characters - Freeform, originally posted to alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated, the infamous hello kitty vibrator, this fic is now old enough to read itself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:49:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29876577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merinnan/pseuds/Calicia
Summary: A visit to Deep Space Nine by Grand Nagus Zek to show off his newly acquired Hello Kitty merchandise results in a close encounter of a kind that Sisko never wants again.
Relationships: Benjamin Sisko/Hello Kitty/Morn/Zek





	The Story Freya Made Me Write

**Author's Note:**

> A very long time ago, Freya challenged me on ASCEM to write a squick fic featuring the infamous Hello Kitty 'personal massager'. This was the result a day or two later.

“Sir,” Kira said, entering Sisko’s office. “The Grand Nagus just docked.”

Sisko looked up. “What’s _he_ doing here?” he demanded.

“Something illegal?” Kira suggested. Sisko sighed, picking up his baseball and twirling it in one hand.

“Where is he?”

“Quark’s Bar, where else?” Kira replied. “Odo’s keeping an eye on him. Oh, and Captain? He wants to speak to you.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes or so,” Sisko replied.

***

When Sisko entered Quark’s Bar ten minutes later, he was surprised to see Grand Nagus Zek perched on a bar stool next to Morn, cackling at something the big Lurian had said. Quark was hovering around him, having undergone his usual change from cheating toad to obsequious toady the instant the Grand Nagus stepped into the bar.

“Nagus...,” he began.

“Ah, Quark, where’s that Captain Sisko?” Zek demanded in his half squawk-half cackle voice.

“I’m here,” Sisko said. Zek spun around on the bar stool, and slid off upon seeing Sisko.

“Captain Sisko, I have an interesting proposal for you,” Zek said.

Sisko looked at him with a similar expression to the one he wore when he stepped in something unpleasant on the beach.

“I’m not sure I’m interested,” he began.

“Sure you are,” Zek said, taking Sisko by the shoulder. “Isn’t he, Morn?”

Morn turned to look at them both, then turned back to his drink.

“Quark!” Zek screeched. “Is that holosuite reserved?”

“Yes, Nagus,” Quark said hurriedly.

“How much are you charging me?” Zek asked.

Quark whipped out a PADD. “How much do you want to pay, Nagus?”

“That’s not how a Ferengi acts, Quark,” Zek said.

“Uh, 5 bars of latinum, Nagus.”

“You dare charge your Nagus?” Zek demanded. Ignoring Quark’s stammered reply, he turned to Morn.

“Morn! Are you coming or not?”

Morn sighed and stood up. Zek tugged at Sisko’s sleeve, and led the human and the Lurian up to the holosuites.

“I have the sole right to distribute this stuff,” Zek announced proudly as the holosuite doors shut behind them. “What do you think?”

Sisko and Morn stared around them in amazement, trying to block out the sickly-sweet perfume filling the room. On pedestals all over the place were pink objects sporting an unusual figure. On closer examination, the figure looked to be that of a weird-looking cartoon cat with a bow in it’s hair. On the pedestals were boxes, bags, writing implements,  
pads of paper, sticker, articles of clothing, toys of the cat, and...

“Is that what I think it is?” Sisko asked.

“Depends on what you think it is,” a voice said, a voice which purred and squeaked at the same time. The three heads turned to see the owner of the voice. From the back of the holosuite sauntered a figure. Sisko blinked. It couldn’t be...it was. It was the cat from the merchandise on display. It – she – sauntered over to him, brushing her paws – hands – appendages – whatever – over Zek and Morn as she passed them. The two of them followed her as she approached Sisko.

“And what do you think it was,” the cat repeated. Sisko looked at her.

“A vibrator,” he said, not quite believing it.

“Got it in one,” the cat said, rubbing herself against him. Sisko felt both revolted and turned on at the same time. This perfume was really getting to him, he decided.

“You are...?” he asked, as Zek and Morn began to fondle the cat. The cat twined herself around him, and looked up at him with big black-and-white cartoonish eyes. “I’m Hello Kitty,” she said, sounding slightly surprised that he didn’t know. “But you can just call me Kitty.” She reached up and pulled Sisko’s head down, and began licking his bare scalp. He was also vaguely aware of something shaped like a tail going down his pants.

“Zek, what is the meaning of this?” he gasped as the tail curled back up his back, and his zip was abruptly jerked down.

“I’m just as surprised as you, Captain,” came Zek’s muffled reply. “But what a _pleasant_ surprise.”

Morn agreed wholeheartedly.

“Oh, Mo-orn,” Kitty sang out, her warm breath tickling the back of Sisko’s neck. “Help me with these sleeves.”

Sisko averted his eyes from the sight of the big Lurian stark naked, only to be confronted with an even more disturbing sight – Zek stark naked. Morn and Kitty took advantage of his disgusted distraction to strip him completely.

“Oooo, Caaaptain,” Kitty said. Sisko felt her climb up his back, her claws, if she had any, retracted. “Reelaxxx,” she hissed in his ear.

***

Kira and Odo were astonished when, barely ten minutes after Sisko, Zek and Morn had entered the holosuite, a nude, erect Sisko rushed out, bright red scratches down his back, and what looked like white fur sticking to him.

“Sir?” Kira said, bemused. Sisko didn’t hear her as he raced out onto the Promenade.

“Streaking on the Promenade is an offence,” Odo huffed. Kira placed her had on his arm.

“Calm down, Constable, you know that’s not like Sisko,” she said. “I wonder what happened in there....” She peered through the holosuite door. “Oh, that’s disgusting!!” Odo heard her exclaim. She quickly withdrew her head, her face looking faintly green. “That’s just _wrong_!” she added.

“What is?” Odo asked, poking his head around the door. He withdrew his head just as quickly as Kira had. “From what I know of solids, that looks decidedly unnatural,” he  
commented.

“I need a drink,” Kira said, pushing past him to the stairs. Odo looked after her for a moment, then hit the button to close the door, and followed her.

“Right now, I wish I could drink,” he said.


End file.
